Missing someone

Missing you day and night,
I loved you so badly at first sight,
Those memories of the heart,
Will haunt my soul as a knight,

You’ve gone without uttering a word,
That pierced me likeΒ a sword,
Every night in my bed,
Heart beats your name,my cupid,

I will live and long for the dawn,
Of arrival and resurrection of love.

24 thoughts on “Missing someone

  1. before i start, i just realized you are fond of writing brevity. i said the comment would be long but that might not be the case. :P. So, the longing is palpable on your lines. I also noticed you like to rhyme. I like writing free verse but doesn’t mean i do not like rhymes. Contrary to me writing free verse, i am very strict with rhymes.

    Missing you the day and night, >> I think there should be no “the”
    I loved you so badly at first sight,
    Those memories of the heart,
    Will haunt my soul as a knight,

    You gone without uttering a word, >> you’ve gone
    That pierced me as a sword, >> i think “like a sword” is more fitting.
    Every night in my bed,
    Heart beats your name my cupid, >> heart beats your name, my cupid (comma placement)

    I will live and long for the dawn,
    Of arrival and resurrection of love. >> this ending is really superb because it is being positive… the spirit of never giving up on love. Overall, i really enjoyed this piece. you must keep writing. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. thant’s a great comment n critique. I think I cannot comment like u , cos I m not that expert in English πŸ™‚ but u did well

      Liked by 1 person

      1. im not an expert in English. i commit a lot of mistakes.. that’s why i normally seek for advice. πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

      1. of course we can say day and night. for example on ur poem. I say it should be without the because day and night there act as an adverb. it describes how often or when do u miss someone. if you used day/night as a subject then you have to use “the” for example, “The day is long.”

        Liked by 1 person

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